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krzydumblond

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heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy [13 May 2004|09:37pm]
[ mood | restless ]

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! omg i havent written in here 4 soooo long!!!!!!!!! sry but yea. omg i have been writing this script!!! but i wont leave it alone and i keep "fixing" it and its getting worse! so yea i really wanna film it and i'm lookin 4 peeps so yea. lalala my bdays in like 13 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY :)!!!!! omg 16 thats sooo fucking awesome. lol n/e wayz hmmm and my mom kinda dropped a hint that i might get a car!!!! now thats REALLY fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!! so yea thats all............ im out.......

<3DaNi

3 blonds wana b blond?

thingy [29 Apr 2004|04:51pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

× · I N F O R M A T I O N · × ·
Name: Dani
Single or taken: single
Sex: female
Birthday: may 26
Sign: gemini

Siblings: 3
Hair color: dirty blonde
Eye color: hazel
Height: 5' 4 or 5'5 around there

· × · R E L A T I O N S H I P S · × ·
Who are your best friends?: Diane! But i love evry 1 esle 2!!! <3AAAAAAAAA
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no


· × · F A S H I O N | S T U F F · × ·
Where is your favorite place to shop: anywhere, nowhere specific.
Any tattoos or piercings: no, but i wanna get my belly button pierced!!!


· × · S P E C I F I C S · × ·
Do you do drugs?: nope
What kind of shampoo do you use?: i dont really kno, and im 2 lazy 2 check lol
What are you most scared of?: being alone
What are you listening to right now? The Used
Who is the last person that called you?: AAAAAAAAAAA
Where do you want to get married?: on the beach
How many buddies are online right now?: 15

· × · F A V O R I T E S · × ·
Color: pink
Food: blt
Boys names: Andy & Josh
Girls names: i dont realli kno
Subjects in school: film!!!
Animals: dogs! katz r EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

· × · H A V E | Y O U | E V E R · × ·
Given anyone a bath?: lol if animals, and little kids count, wait they r the same! lol
Smoked?: no
Bungee jumped?: r u crazy?
Made yourself throw up?: yea
Skinny dipped?: yea.. it wuz a dare! lol
Ever been in love?: yea
Made urself cry to get out of trouble?: 2 many times 2 count
Pictured your crush naked?: maybe...lol
Actually seen your crush naked?: yea
Cried when someone died?: yes ::tear, tear::
Lied: lol
Fallen for your best friend?: yea and it worked out realli bad
Been rejected?: yea
Rejected someone?: yea
Used someone?: yea
Done something you regret?: yea way 2 many

· × · C U R R E N T · × ·
Clothes: jeans, tee, and vans
Music: C-I-P!!!! lol blink 182, No doubt, linkin park, simple plan, the offspring, The Used, eminem, (i like most music except Hilary Duff DIE...DIE...DIE!
Make-up: foundation, eyeshadow, eye liner, lipgloss.
Annoyance: work of n/e kind..lol
Smell: i dunno... me!
Desktop picture: blink 182
Book you're reading: Secret Window
CD in player: a burned cd w/ like all these different songs
DVD in player: Thirteen... good movie!

· × · L A S T | P E R S O N · × ·
You touched: My lil bro
Hugged: Diane
You imed: Cory
Yelled at: Daniel
You kissed: hmm its a secret

· × · A R E | Y O U · × ·
Understanding: yea
Open-minded: sometimes
Arrogant: no not realli
Insecure: sometimes
Random: lol
Hungry: not really i just finished dinner (chinese yummy!)
Smart: lol
Moody: yea sometimes

Hard working: if its really important and its sumpthen fun
Organized: lol
Healthy: lol
Shy: actually im not as shy as i used 2 b
Difficult: lol ask daniel
Attractive: im not a train wreck lol
Bored easily: yea then i start talkin 2 myself
Responsible: lol most of the time Obsessed: dosent evn begin 2 cover it
Angry: sometimes
Sad: lol yes sometimes i get depressed
Happy: lol
Hyper: all the time
Trusting: yes, i can keep a secret


· × · W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A · × ·
Kill?: lol such a strong word! hehe
Slap: lol alot of ppl
Get really wasted with?: Diane... lol
Get high with: nah im not into that
Talk to offline: evry1
Talk to online: evry1 lol i love 2 talk
Sex it up with: lol no comment

· × · R A N D O M · × ·
In the morning I am: sleeping!
All you need is: Laughter
Love is: crazy
I dream about: ppl and stupid things
Sexual preference: boyz! :)
What do you notice first in the sex you're into: their sense of humor!

· × · W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R · × ·
Coke or Pepsi: Coke (pepsi suxs ass!)
Flowers or candy: candyyyy (sugaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!) hehe
Tall or short: tall (i wish!)


· × · W H O · × ·
Makes you laugh the most: dj
Makes you smile: i smile all the time so evry1 lol
Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: sshhhhh its a secret

· × · D O | Y O U | E V E R · × ·
Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to im you?: yea i have
Save conversations: yea but only like once or twice
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: nah i like bein a woman!
Wish you were younger: lol i am young at heart Cry because someone said something to you?: yea if it realli hurt

· × · N U M B E R · × ·
Of times I have had my heart broken: 1
Of hearts I have broken: 1
Of guys I've kissed: 3
Of girls I've kissed: im not like that
Of CD's I own: alot but im startin 2 download
Of scars on my body: lol afew
Of things that I regret: 2 many

· × · Y O U R | T H O U G H T S · × ·
I know: that love is complicated
I want: a car
I have: alot of laughter & energy
I wish: i had a car
I hate: being alone
I fear: having no one 2 talk 2
I hear: The Used
I search: for a great guy
I wonder: if things will work out
I love: my friendz, my family, my music, and movies and alot of other stuff (orlando bloom! hehe)

wana b blond?

heyyyyy [24 Apr 2004|04:25pm]
hi! im lame! lol i havent like update in like sooooooooooooo long! um yea
i cant ypt 4 shit rite now.


jamies over!



i luv jamie-jamie

yea so yestersay wuz toni;s "suprise bday partay" but lol she didnt cum! no1 realli came it suxed. so yea im pissed @ daniel cuz hes an ass, lol wuts new? jamies here oh yea i already said that~ we r about 2 go to the infamious jackson market, wut does inafmous mean anyway? famous is like famous and imfamous means not famous? or really famous? imma gonna leave that 1 alone. lol like yea ummmmmmmmmmm skywee abd tawnie gave me a "makeover" lol yesterday! i like so freakin different! so yea lol

I <3 U AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I <3 U IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I <3 U DJ
I <3 ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
wana b blond?

the novel entry [14 Apr 2004|10:05pm]
[ mood | confused ]

i am going crazy. im more confused then i ever have been in my entire life. ii just dont know what 2 do. im scared of evrything my life has become a twisted piece of mess that i need 2 clean up. im about to finish 10 grade, i mean shyt thas fuckin crazy. time traveled to fast. way too fast. and i wuz stuck watchin it go by. watch in a blink of an eye i will be graduating and in college and grown up. something a little kid dreams about. u dream about it untill it happens, then u wish u cud somehow go back. go back and change things. because all you do is wonder "what if" i did this differently, "what if" this never happened. you can make up as many "what if's" as you want u can make a million till u realize its just a waste of time. honestly i dont want 2 grow up im fuckin scared. im still a kid. i need like 10 more years and i'll be fine. but i know that i cant control time. i cant slow it down, or pause it, or even rewind or foreward it, its just there, and u have 2 deal with it, like it or not. and i hate dealing with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want 2 just go back and start over but i kno i cant. and now i have nothing 2 complain about n e more cuz my mom is clean and sober. i have no reason to be unhappy rite? im supposed 2 b normal! wtf? im just afraid. of everything, losing someone close to you, yea, well i have had that happen a few times, i wish i cud of said something to those people b4 they left, but i wuz retarded and scared so i just kept my mouth shut and let them walk away. i mean sometimes people are to damn stubborn. to damn stubborn to admit that they are wrong and apologize. i admit i am one of those people. evry single person in my family are one of those people. my family yells and screams about the stupidest fucking shit. we dont know how to express ourselfs. and when we do it just fucks up the family even more. its weird how one fucking thing, one memory, one thought, can turn into me writing a fuckin novel. lol i mean why? i need 2 just slow down and fuckin chill rite now cuz im about 2 explode at the next person who comes near me. im just so pissed off, depressed, scared, and lost at the same time that it really isnt funny, and for the first time im not fuckin laughing! thats wut i think my problem is, i hide behind my laughter, evry single fuckin person that knows me wud say that im happy 24/7, because i guess i have learned to hide behind it. i mean im going to be 16 and i feel like im 80 years old cuz i been thru so much. and i hate having to learn from my parents experinces becuz god damimit there my parents. they are suppose to raise me and take care of me. not treat me like shit, like i didnt matter, my mom treated me that way for 15 years and is just now tryin 2 make up for that lost time. and she cant. shes the one who got pregnant at like 19 while she wuz drunk at some party with her boyfriend of like 4 months. w/e im so fuckin sick of hearing about how sorry my mom is. ill never forget the things she did to me, never, like when i wuz about 5 i went driving with my mother. of course she wuz drunk or high probably both, and she asked me if i loved her or my grandmother more. my grandmother had raised me my whole life so of course i said her, she left me on a freakin corner for like 2 hours by myself. when she came back she only let me back in the car if i said i loved her more than my grandma, i wuz fuckin 5 years old. oh yea and when i wuz 6 or 7 i wuz in the middle of a gun point in my front yard bcuz of my dumb ass mom. i remember pulling in the driveway and police were everywhere, they all had there guns pointed at the car while my mom and step dad were being arrested i wuz sitting in the backseat watchin it all happen. i have been escorted out of the school by the police because of one of my mom husbands (shes had like 50) claimed 2 have kidnapped me my bro , and sis, so when i got home there wuz a policeman with one of those walkie talkie thingys and i remeber when he said open fire and i heard gun shots over the scanner and my mom scream. she was shot in the foot and her husband in the head, he died afew days later of brain damage. and ive been thru a family members suicide. a rifle thru the heart, she left notes sayin how she cudnt go on and all this crap, now that i look back on it, its kinda crazy that i havent tried drugs or wuz a druggie rite now considering how easy it wuz, that it wuz in my own home. but i dont give a fuck cuz i just use these retarded things that my mom did 2 remind me how fuckin stupid drugs can make you. they can make u not care about the things that matter most to you, you could lose everything, you make stupid decisons but whatevr im not going 2 preach about not doing it bcuz whoever is doin it has some reason of there own, im just so sick and tired of the drama. and im beginning 2 like some1 again, like really fall for them, after these past years, but im 2 afriad, not of rejection but of hurting them or other ppl involved 4 different reasons but w/e im just confused and lost and dont know what to do. i guess ill just sleep off all this god damn emotion and hope to wake up, okay. but whatever i have finally come to an end of this entry thingy for 2day/ novel but thas how i feel and if it takes this long 2 express my feelings then "dont fucking read it!"

wana b blond?

HAPPY EASTER!!! [11 Apr 2004|10:58am]
[ mood | awake ]

omg i woke up this mornin @ like 8am!!! i wne t 2 bed around 3 sumothen so i really cant believe that im not fuckin tired rite now! lol mayb im catchin Daniels sleep deprevation disease lol!!! so yea 2day im goin 2 the movies with w/ A and E!!!!!!
I LOVE U AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol i luv u 2 EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!
lol so yea im just blah and hyper rite now! hehe soooooooooo C-I-P! lol

<3PEACE!

wana b blond?

Vegas baby [10 Apr 2004|05:23pm]
[ mood | bored ]

so yea vegas wuz okiez i guess. i spent most of the time chillin @ the pool. i FINALLY got 2 c the butterfly effect in the hotel room, it wuz ok, kinda wierd though. so yea the ride there and baq wuz really gay cuz all the kidz were tryin 2 kill eachother in the backseat. it wuz sooooo fucking annoying!!!!!!!! lol 2day kinda suxed i just stayed home and played grand turismo 3 on PS2 all day listenin 2 eminem. i finally pulled my grandma off the computer! lol her and her damn bingo!!!!!! and yea that wuz my gay ass spring break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i actually cant wait 4 school 2 start!!!!!!!!! :( lol w/e im out!

1 blonds wana b blond?

:-) [05 Apr 2004|11:55pm]
[ mood | scared ]

so yea im like so freaked out rite now i just finished watchin that movie 'Gothika' w/ Halle Berry. lol its wuz freaky! lol i watched it w/ my mother and aunt it wuz funny cuz they kept scratchin eachother i wuz like ok until they started attackin me and i started runnin and they followed me, ugh my mother has been sooo damn annoying lately. like she printed out fake spiders, put them on a string, and was chasing my grandma around! and 2day she stuck a straw in her armpit and wuz makin farting noises i wuz like wtf? but id rather have her annoying and weird then not there. but w/e and yea, ugh i really, really, really, wanna go 2 vegas!!!! 1 more day, 1 more day, 1 more day!!!!! :-) i went drivin again today, i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol i really, really, really, wanna get my permit, so i can drive all the time w/o worryin! so yea

wana b blond?

Joyride [02 Apr 2004|01:01pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

omg i just got baq 4rm like drivng around 4 like a hour!!! it wuz soo cool cuz my grandpa saw me (hes cool) he wuz like "hey whens ur 16th bday?" i wuz like 2 months!!! then he wuz all quiet, im sooo gonna get a car 4 my sweeeet 16!!!! so yea im goin 2 vegas nxt wed 4 a "family" vacay, so thas kool. and i made an appointment w/ the DMV, they r like freakin busy, i called 2day and they said the nxt avalible appointment wuz april 21, so i took it. cant wait! :) but my mother lost my birth certificate so we have 2 go get a new 1 like nxt week or sumpthen so yea lalala i really want 2 drive sum mor im goin crzy!!!!!!!!! l8r

wana b blond?

Springfest [31 Mar 2004|11:18pm]
[ mood | amused ]

so yea 2day wuz springfest, the day b4 spring break so evry1 wuz like "hell yea". lol and uh i guess springfest wuz "ok" i wuz soooooooooo bummed whn asb screwed C-I-P and made it impossible 4 them 2 perform! :( rite after me and kathryn made these tite C-I-P t-tops and yea. But w/e my legs like hurt soooo much cuz i like wuz standing 4 like i dunno a long time! lol im watchin dude wheres my car rite now lol i kno old movie but still hilarious! lol oh yea and im about 2 get my permit!!! im so godammn happy rite now, b4 spring break is ovr i will have my permit!!! hehe u ppl better watch out, cuz im comin! ;P

C-I-P!!!

wana b blond?

[27 Mar 2004|11:46pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Damn,
Cant you see im in love w/ u,
but you dont know, you c rite through,
me, it looks as if u dont care,
dont evn give me a stare,
whn i walk by you,
you act like u dont kno me,
who i am, and who i used 2 b,
but i really want u 2 hold me tight,
evry day, and evry nite,
for ur love i wud fight,
till mt last breath,
i would stand by u,
and be tru,
im givin u my heart 4 the takin,
but instead of it livin its breakin,
and makin,
me cry,
makin me want 2 die,
i wud nvr lie,
about wuts in my heart,
evn if u threw a dart,
rite thru and shattered,
like it never mattered,
like i didnt matter,
it took a while for my mind to dawn,
on the fact that u were gone,
and that maybe i shud move on,
that im wastin my time,
u wudnt give a dime,
for me,
i wuz just 2 blind 2 c,
that u didnt give a shit about me,
u cudnt care less,
im just such a mess,
thats not worth cleanin,
not worth leanin,
on,
with no meanin,
maybe someday i'll c,
how bad u really were 4 me,
no matter how much i need 2,
i wont hate u,
no matter how much i need 2,
i cant hate u,
i'll b 4vr trapped,
knocked dwn and slapped,
by u,
if only i knew,
how 2 hate u.

1 blonds wana b blond?

[26 Mar 2004|11:30pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

so yea 2 day wuz just blah. we had a gay student recongition assembly and yea. then whn i got home, the comp wuz in my room and im like "tight"! (w/o the "T") lol and so yea we got rid of AOL and got Comcast DSL!!! and yea my mom wanted me 2 participate in this weird reflection thingy were we talk about are day and feelings and she asked me what are three things i wuz grateful 4 when i woke up, and i sad,
1. That it was friday.
2. that my classes were all short cuz of the assembly.
3. that my mom was sober and clean, that she wasnt out drinking or getting high. that i knew where she was. that i knew she cared about me. that i knew she wanted to spend time with me 4 the first time in 16 years. that she loved me more than drugs or alcohol.

She started crying. she wuz all Dani im sooo sorry about what ive done, and blah blah blah. stop apologizing for the past and spend some time with your kids.

Yesterday, she brought me 2 an AA meeting. all these ppl shared about their experiences w/ drugs and alcohol. I learned the 12 AA/NA steps;

12 Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.


5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.


6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.


7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all the persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
Amen."

1 blonds wana b blond?

la [25 Mar 2004|08:44pm]
[ mood | blank ]

so yea im sooo bored rite now! i just finished writing my gay script itz ok i guess! ehh 2day wuz a gay day, evry1 wuz gay and yea. lol Frank did a performance to this song "all i think about is sex." hmm wonder wut hes been thinkin about! lol

wana b blond?

bored [24 Mar 2004|06:25pm]
so yea 2day and yesterday were kinda gay. On Monday i was locked out of my 3rd period becuz of the gay ass tardy sweeps! (but i didnt get caught!) lol there really isnt much 2 talk about so yea lol i took a LOTR test and of course i wud b legolas! (awe Orlando!)
Legolas

Legolas Greenleaf

If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Legolas, Elf, a son of the King of Mirkwood.

In the movie, I am played by Orlando Bloom.

Who would you be?
Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

wana b blond?

R.I.P Deanna [21 Mar 2004|07:25pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

yea so obviosuly 2day wuz crappy. evry1 in my fucked up family just went along like it wuz a normal day. like Deanna didnt kill herself four years ago. fuck four years ago. i cant even begin to believe that shit. im just so depressed and lost rite now it isnt funny. actually i dont think i smiled or laughed at all 2day, yea WiErD! So Jodie got kicked out of rehab AGAIN! So evry1 @ home is yelling and just being gay. so yea last nite i went 2 the movies w/ Jodie and saw 'Secret Window' w/ Jhonny Depp. it wuz ok i guess. wut sucked wuz we went all the way 2 Azusa 2 c it. Jodie's new boyfriend works at the theater, he didnt evn get us in free. so yea i left my wallet at the concession stand. we cudnt find it so i lost my wallet in Azusa! n/e wayz 2day kinda sucked i wuz woken EARLY!!!!! and my mom wuz all Josey's science fair project is due tommorow. and i wuz all "and i care because," then she said well i have a meeting and all this crap, so yea i got stuck doing a kindergardeners sciene project. who the hell came up with the idea the kindergareners should do science fair projects, it should be called which parent put the most time and money project. so yea on Fri i selpt ovr @ Maria's and hung w/ Becca. it wuz coo, cuz we totally fucked up beccas hair!lol and yea so that wuz my GAY ASS weekend. to top it off my grandpa's yelling at me for everything, and im really emotional 2day, who the hell can blame me? my aunt, who i spent like evry day with 4 my whole life, shot herself through the heart!!! yea and i found out that she wuz cheating on her husband and left that in her suicide note 2 him! she also said that she didnt love him and wanted 2 b with her old husband that O.D afew years before. that is so fucked ! i mean, i miss her and all but thats just fucked up. i just need 2 chill and get through the rest of this fucked up day.

wana b blond?

[17 Mar 2004|09:14pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Thx 4 makin my lij 4 me!!! my blondness cud of nvr figured this out! lol

1 blonds wana b blond?

Whateva [17 Mar 2004|08:27pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

So yea 2day wuz the "math part of the exam" lol i did better than i thought so yea. 2day i wore shorts 2 school, it wuz weird cuz i nvr wear shorts lol so after i finished the first part of the exam i decided "not" 2 go to second period. so i wus standing there talking 2 Becca, Jen, michelle, daniel, and other pplz, then whoppi showed up. i wuz like shiiiiiiittt!!! so yea i got caught in a tardy sweep! :-( it sucked. especially cuz daniel got away. he just slipped out of sight and i got detention!!!!! lol so yea after school i wuz really hyper!!! we had a party in 6th per and i got a bag of hot cheetos! so i went 2 my locker and saw Diane and DianA lol they were like cum 2 the beach. i wuzz like nah. then Robin and Kasey were like cum 2 McDonalds, so i did, and daniel tagged along continuing our "ghetto" lessons. so at Mcdonalds i got evn mor hyper and then diane and DianA came and they were like "Dani u traitor." i wuz like u asked me 2 go 2 the beach not mcDonalds, damn. n e wayz so then we walked baq, me still eating those god damn cheetos! i swear lol "crack" cheetos! so then we went baq 2 the school and saw diane. she wuz like crying. so we tryed 2 comfort her. then she had 2 pee so diane and DianA left 2 find a open bathroom. then me and daniel just chilled in front. then we saw lauren and wuz like "hey lauren" then my grandpa came cuz i wuz freezing my ass off! lol so then i came home and lol im still eating those cheetos!!!!!! so yea

"Daniel u wanna go zoom zoom in my boom boom" lol

C-I-P homie!

wana b blond?

High school who fucking cares exam [16 Mar 2004|08:26pm]
[ mood | good ]

So yea 2day & 2morrow r those gay high school exit exams! The whole things pretty god damn gay. I probably aced the english part but tommorow........uh.... no comment. lol jk im gonna fucking fail. i suck in all math's i havent gotten math since elementary school so yea fuck that. so yea i finished the test "early". i wuz @ my locker gettin my health book when i saw william (aka daniel) lol n e wayz then we saw bec bec and we walked around doing nothing. lol becca wuz all scared of gettin caught and wiliam jumped into a bush! ok i did 2 but it wuz funny 2 c him jump in first. so yea daniel TRYED 2 teach me how 2 be ghetto! lol it wuz the funniest fucking thing so yea i gotta new cell fone! lol i lost my old 1! the number is 597-0436, so yea if ur bored call me! lol

:-) blink suxs!

wana b blond?

eh [11 Mar 2004|09:32pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I feel like crying and i have no idea why. im getting all emotional and shit over nothing at all. i hate it when this happens. when something stupid reminds me of something i dont want to be reminded of. i know im not making any fuckin sense, but to me i am. and thats all that matters. that i kno wut the fuck im talking about. i hate it. i hate having 2 remember evrything. lol i dont evn have a best friend anymor, sad yea. i have ppl @ school who think they know me. but i will never had wut i once had. the friends i used 2 think wud stand by me 4evr r gone. Best Friends Forever is the most untrue thing anyone could evr say. yes my old friends r still 'physically' here but are gone. i kno i have probably changed 2 but it dosent matter. i can come home evry day, put on my headphones and get away from it all. no i have never tryed drugs, no i dont go 2 partys a get drunk, no i have never attempted suicide, yes im a freakin "goody two shoes" or whatever u call it but i dont fuckin care. yea i kno i dont have it the worst, but i dont have it the best either. its hard to keep track of everything. its hard to cover evrything up and pretend its all okay. but i can do it. lol someday im going 2 explode and fuckin doing something i might regret. shit wut the hell happened 2 me. one day im starting middle school and the next im just stuck in the 10th grade wishing i could go back. lol its too late for that to late for everything. all the people in my life that i could really trust are gone. i have no one to talk to no one to confide in except a stupid fucking aol journal! lol its better than writing it in some notebook and my mom or grandparents find it and put me in counseling. evry second is inching closer 2 march 21. the day that changed everything. when it all started. when i lost the first person. then like a domino effect i lost evry1 else. fuck life. fuck evry1 in my life. fuck everything.

wana b blond?

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